I've been wanting to go to a kinesiologist for some time now.
I'll be honest, I didn't know a whole lot about the practice, and people who'd been couldn't really explain their experiences other than that it helped release their emotional blockages through muscle testing. What I did know, however, is that I had felt weighed down for longer than I care to admit, and that the idea of feeling lighter was too appealing to ignore.
And, for anyone who has experienced a trauma or life-altering event, it could unlock feelings you didn't even know you had.
It did for me, at least.
Holistic kinesiologist, Lisa Iliagouev of Soul Centred Kinesiology, started my session by helping me identify what my one central intention was for coming to see her. Through the discussion alone, I realised there were a lot of emotions I was holding onto, stemming from a bad breakup as a teenager and my father's passing in particular. While entirely different, they're two events that have shaped my attitudes and fears in the years that followed them. From shame to guilt, expectation, rejection and insecurity, it was clear there was a lot of work to do.
When I laid down on the bed, I tried to be open-minded with a willingness to work through these buried feelings — I'm definitely not the most spiritual person you'll ever meet, let's put it that way. Lisa began muscle testing certain body parts for emotional blockages, and, weirdly, I felt as though I could be more open about certain feelings while Lisa was stimulating those energy centres, like meridians, Nadis, chakras, cells, organs and glands.
"We promote blood to move into the energy centre which also carries oxygen to that centre. By oxygenating or moving blood into that area of the body, the client begins to feel relaxed, in their body and not necessarily in their thinking mind which allows them to open up more and access wisdom from deep within," Lisa tells me.
It's hard to explain, and now I know why those who recommended kinesiology to me struggled to do the same.
Lisa was comforting and welcoming, always asking my permission to reprogram beliefs, release stuck emotions or unblock energy that she was identifying within me. That's something I personally really appreciated, as there are certain traits that make you who you are, and it's important to really figure out whether or not those traits serve you before trying to continue on with, or remove, them from your being.
Then, Lisa guided me through a breathing exercise whereby I was able to re-enter a memory of when I found out my high school boyfriend had cheated on me, only this time it was extremely vivid, right down to the pattern of my doona case and what I was wearing almost 15 years ago. I felt like I was in a state of hypnosis.
But what happened next was the real takeaway.
Lisa helped me to reframe this memory, to one not of shame but of unconditional love. The period of my life, which brought me so much humiliation, disgust and lowered self-worth, instead became one of comfort and support, repositioning the focus to all the people who cared for me during the life stage, rather than just one who simply followed his desires and hurt someone in the process.
It was like a montage of support and comfort flashed before my very eyes, and a deeper understanding of the entire situation surfaced. The weirdest thing is that, even though I have the self awareness to know that someone's actions are not a direct reflection of me, I never had the emotional alignment and clarity to completely move forward and rid myself of the connected negativity.
The next trauma we were to revisit, however, was a little harder to journey through given the gravity of the experience, the emotions associated and the smaller time frame that had passed since it took place.
As soon as Lisa even brought up my father, who died five years ago, I was a wreck. Because of the relaxed, almost meditative state I had entered into from the previous portion of the session, it was as if my body was fully allowing myself to release emotions, and more importantly emotions of grief — something hugely confronting when you've become a master at hiding them.
This time, we didn't revisit a memory, but instead created one.
Lisa guided me into choosing a destination of importance to my father and I, and again, it was extremely vivid. I was then asked to say something to him, which was one thing, but him speaking back to me was something else entirely. The conversation shared was the conversation I needed to release those emotions that were holding me back from living my life to its full extent, of expectation and guilt, and to inevitably move forward.
It was as if I finally tapped into what was actually weighing me down versus what I assumed was weighing me down, by reshaping old memories and forming new ones into situations that would serve me rather than bring me down.
I'm aware that trauma is varied, and you bet I felt embarrassed even suggesting a breakup could fit into the category, so of course everyone's experiences with kinesiology will be different.
Will a one hour kinesiology session make all your troubles disappear?
Look, no, probably not.
But it's definitely a step in the right direction.
Image Source: Artur Debat / Getty Images
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